2010 recap

It is nearing the end of 2010 and much has happened in this year. The first two weeks were spent with family and friends before boarding a flight into Europe. I spent three months then in the Czech Republic doing my internship I observed and learned much about the Czech people and built many relationships with some of the Czech ladies. I was able to teach one class of English about Canada. I showed them some of the currency making sure to get it back haha. They seemed very interested and one of the ladies even commented on the fact that they expect us to know everything about them yet they do not know much about America or Canada.

After my time in the Czech Republic I came right to Cambridge after a day or two with no effects of Jet Lag again to search for work. I found one pretty quick, but it proved to be the wrong job for me. While at that job I was a bridesmaid for another one of my very good friends. I spent a couple of days in Collingwood with our mutual best friend at the earlier part of the week prior to her wedding. Then on Wednesday we both travelled to London to spend a couple of days with Jenn before she got married. I think that we spoiled her a fair bit by taking her out and making her wear a bride-to-be sash. I know what she will be thinking at this point...haha just you wait, your turn will come. Within the next few weeks after the wedding I was offered another job. I had to choose between the current job and the pending job because of them being in the same field.

I quit the job I already had because I was not happy there at all and took the chance that the pending job would still take me on. Thankfully they did. For the most part the job is okay, there is a lot of uncomfortable stress that comes with working in retail, like people are always watching you. Not to mention working with only women can be intense. Gossip mills for sure, emotions play a role in how everyone feels and takes on the tasks for the day. There have been schedule conflicts and other items that have me feeling frustrated...people can be soooo messy when they are shopping. I hate to see what their house looks like haha. Anyway do not I want to do this kind of work forever. The answer...NO! The resolution is to be discussed in another blog posting coming soon. Stay posted.

After the summer was over I got right into my school work as well for the final year. I lived off of campus and is really shows in my marks that I am less distracted overall than I was when I lived in dorm. Though it is a challenge at times to balance school, work, church and a social life I think that I did alright in all of it. I spent Christmas at home and went back to Cambridge Christmas night as I had to work the following day. What will 2011 look like? That answer will be coming soon as in the next few days.

A Strawberry Sundae

Today has been a rather wonderful day thus far. This morning I went out for breakfast with two very special people in my life and then I did a couple of errands. I decided to hang out at the mall for something to do rather than sitting at home on my duff doing nothing in particular. So walking around the mall produced some exercise and a gift for another wonderful couple. I decided to have an ice cream and then sit down to enjoy it. Yes I admit that I had a treat. Anyway I was eating my ice cream from Marble Slab, yes it was tasty. I saw a couple from my church walk by, so we exchanged a few words. I was the only person sitting in this section of seats and I was sitting by DQ. Then this father and little girl of about 6 years comes and sits down. Dad with his lemonade and daughter with a Strawberry Sundae. They were chit chatting and then the little girl pipes up. "Do you know our names?" After I clued in that she was talking to me, I replied "No I don't." Then she introduces them and then proceeded to ask me my name. She said my name outloud as if you make sure see remembered it. She continued eating her ice cream as her and her dad chatted. When I finished up my ice cream I bid them farewell by saying "Merry Christmas", and said to the little girl "be sure you go to sleep right away on Christmas Eve." She said yep and then I was up and off. A moment later, "Bye Christina!" I turned and waved. I was so odd to me, but at the same time to sweet to have that little encounter today. If you don't know me already children and elders are my heartbeat. I can't get enough of them and they are the people who get the most abuse because they are often so helpless and vulnerable. I just had to write about this so I would not forget something so wonderful.

It Literally Ended in a Bang

Last night was my work Christmas dinner. Majority voted landed us at Crabbies to enjoy a meal together and to exchange gifts. We were secret santa's to different people at the work place. I noticed that we all put a lot of thought into each of these gifts as though we really know each other well. Me being in my goofy nature noticed a sweater at work that reminded me of a sock monkey because of the colours so I called it sock monkey (apparently everyone likes the sweater because it was gone pretty fast). Our newest addition to the team has been working with us for about two months and I haven't really seen her in the last three weeks because of the hours being cut for everyone. She remembered little things that we talked about. I have mentioned at one point that I love elephants. So my gift from her was a sock monkey (super cute) and a tuskers elephant posed in a gift bag saying a gift for you (my first tuskers). I absolutely loved the gift because of the thought that she put into it. It really seemed as though everyone put this much thought into their gifts. We opened the gifts before our meals came so we were not just waiting for the food. The last person to open her gift was the hardest to deal with and rightfully so. She was giving "sexual innuendos" which I think would have been fine for her, but she got very carried away with it waving her pen around, then passing it around for others to feel, two of us by passed it (I was one of them, my gift giver being the other). I was honestly mortified by her behaviour I apologized to the server, which he was caught off guard with the pen as it came out many times. But then he got goofing around with us. My manager asked him to take a group photo of us and he did, we huddled into a spa booth. Then I believe his shift manager got him to join in on the photo and she took it. He got on the table and laid across it to get in without blocking any of us. Then when he went to get off, he broke the table. There was the bang, then everyone went home because we already paid. I felt horrible that the table was broken on top of everything else that transpired prior to that. This is just a picture of how things can get carried away. There was one thing that did not really play affect on the evening and that was the alcohol that was involved. I think only three or four people had a specialty drink and two of them had a refill. So I know that alcohol was not really a contributing factor in the silliness.

Another Beautiful Bride

As some of you may already know I was a bridesmaid this summer for one of my best friends' weddings. Jenn and Andy got married June 4th. They looked fantastic and the wedding went off without a hitch. Well okay little Emma didn't want to walk down the isle, but who could blame her when she had three strangers swarm her right after she woke up from a nap to change her and put her in her beautiful little yellow flower girl dress. She had a very good reason in my books. We had a lot of fun together, not only at the wedding but beforehand too. Tabetha and I spent two days with her prior to this special day; dinning out, miniputting, bowling and a little rock band too haha. I just love my Jenn! Here are a couple of photos from their wedding...

There was also a wedding that I attended just yesterday. Not to down play Jenn's wedding because it certainly was a very nice wedding and she looked absolutely stunning and well he matched her too. This wedding was something that I really looked forward to because of seeing how God worked in and through this friend I have in Ashleigh. I found that our friendship really blossomed this summer. A year an a half ago we almost lost Ashleigh. It was a freightening experience and as we heard at the reception last night it was freightful for Jake as well. He almost lost the woman that he was already falling for. They were not even dating yet, but he knew something was growing in his heart. It is only by God's grace that she is still able to be with us today. When we lost a fellow student this summer Ashleigh and I both wrote a blog to honour his life and within moments from one another. We caused one another to weep fresh tears with the words we shared. I thought often of how close Ashleigh was and I'm sure that it crossed her mind too during that time. Now she is very healthy, in love and has a new name. I am so thankful that I was able to share in her joy on this very special day. Love you Ashleigh!

Tchibo

You just don't know coffee until you have had it in Europe. A couple of weeks ago I met up with my Czech co-workers in Niagara Falls and they presented a gift to me and it was Tchibo coffee. This is one of the favoured coffee brands in the Czech Republic and I grew to love it when I was there. I would sit in my living room with a carafe of coffee and do my devotions just about every morning. It was wonderful and something that is missed here seeing how I don't have space like I did there. I was so pleased with this gift that I am sure that my eyes lit up along with my entire face. Today my landlord's brewed a pot of this coffee and it was a hit with my landlady. I certainly enjoyed my cup of coffee this morning

Family Vs. Friends

I value my family to smithereens. Granted my family is not perfect by any means, but they do mean the world to me. I enjoy spending time with them, being goofy and being relaxed with them for the most part. We all have our quirks right? haha you might get where my thoughts are. I know that no matter what they will be there in a heart beat, my parents have even come up here more often this year and I have loved going out on the town with them. We usually share a meal and then go on a little adventure. I was even "surprised" with having my sister waiting at a restaurant one time for us. It was special, even if the boys thought that a carnival was more important than seeing their auntie (who can blame them though, I would do the same haha).

I have been thinking a lot lately about who my true friends are. Those are the ones who try to keep in contact, I feel that I do my fair share of trying to get together with people. I feel pretty used by some of those people I considered friends truth be told, now that their other friends are back forget about Christina I want to hang with them kind of mentality. Or the feelings of you are only good enough to talk to if you are dressed well, have make up on, and did your hair. Some of these people have "preached" that they want people to be authentic in their Christian faith, but I don't see that when this comes through. They they are talking about being authentic in their faith yet fail at their friendship showing "Authenticity". Kind of contradictory or maybe even hipocritical. This is how I have felt about a few people who have referred to me being a friend of theirs. If I was truly their friend they would hang out with me even if I was wearing a "hoodie" or if more of their friends were around. Granted I have many other friends that do not fall into these thoughts. I spent the night with one of these wonderful ladies last night, we stayed up til 3 am talking about things. I am seeing one tomorrow, one is getting married on Saturday, one is kind of far away so I just might not see her until Spring. Next Saturday one of them is coming up to visit me.

If you are one of the other "friends" that fit into my feelings of dismay or are just not sure if you fit there or not talk to me and we can talk through it. You may not have realized my thoughts or that you are one of those people, and frankly I don't really want to call you up just to set up a time to finally meet up and tell you how I feel. This kind of needs to be under your own conviction I think. There is a time and a place to walk through these things, one of my friends and I did go through this as it just came up. We faced the music and walked away with a better understanding of one another and now we know what we both want and need from one another. You know who you are too. I love you all though so don't think that there is any hating going on here. Just expressing my feelings in a "beat around the bush" kind of way.

A family in need of some prayer

Last fall while I was living in Calgary I lived under a wonderful Christian family. The husband is a pastor and together they had two wonderful children. Super sweet and smart children. While living there, they learned that they were expecting baby number 3. The pregnancy was not an easy one for mom as she had much morning sickness and then later learned that her tiny baby had several abnormalities with her heart, lungs and other places. On May 21st she gave birth to a tiny baby girl weighing just 4 lbs 12 oz. Rachel is her name, she is almost 5 months old now which has surprised some of the doctors, they certainly did not think that she was going to live that long. Yesterday was a very rough day for the family as they almost lost their little one. She is just over 5 pounds now, so weight gain has been very slow. Her oxygen levels are very low and she was struggling to breathe yesterday afternoon and started to turn blue. She overcame that but is tired. This family is super grateful to be able to enjoy Rachel for this long, but of course the longer that they are blessed with her the harder it is going to be when she passes from her earthly parents arms into heavenly fathers arms. She has been able to bless many with her smiles and they have many pictures that captured them. They were also able to capture some videos of her laughing. What a blessing and something that can be treasured forever. This family has been clinging tightly to God through this not so fun rollercoaster. They are facing a huge valley right now. Please take a moment to pray for this family. Rachel's siblings are 4 and 3 years old, they are quite young and may not understand it all that fully.

I'm a Klutz

Ok so some of you who have known me for a long time know what I am referring to haha. My parents and siblings know and are probably nodding their head in agreement and maybe are giggling inward as they think about some of the whipouts I have had.

I have fallen a lot in my days. This hasn't changed as of recently and I will say that most of the falls in the last year were due to slippery conditions. These many frequent fall have scarred me so much that I am dreading winters arrival. Granted having boots with some traction would help a great deal. Less than half an hour ago I was walking to the bus stop from school and I stepped in a rut in the grass twisting my foot a bit and lost my balance and fell...right in front of Tim Hortons! How embarrassing...so many people saw me fall. I'm sitting here giggling about the incident and shaking my head in dis-belief that I wiped out yet again and this time I do not have ice or snow to blame. Whatever will I do haha.

Time with God

This morning I was reading the Book of Jude. It was written to warn the people that Jude was writing to about their sin and godlessness.

Jude talks very frankly to them as they are living a life full of sin and enjoying it a little too much. Jude is warning them of what could come of it if they continue to live in it too long. If you do not know Jude is the second last book of the Bible in the New Testament. As Jude is writing he talks about some things that happened in the Old Testament. First he talks about the people that God freed out of Egypt but that he later destroyed most of those people because of their faithlessness. Then Jude mentioned Sodom and Gomorrah with how these towns/cities were destroyed because their sexual immorality. He mentioned a couple of others but I decided to dig deeper into these two familiar stories to get more background as to what Jude was talking about.

I went to the Israelites first and read about them complaining continuously and how everyone twenty years old and older were destroyed with the exception of two men; Joshua and Caleb. I got to thinking of my own life right after reading this passage of Numbers 14. "How does this apply to you?" you might be asking. The answer is simple for me to tell you. I can say that I do not like my job, I often complain about my manager, the customers and some of the scheduling issues that I have been having. This has made me realize the kind of hindrance I can be to people towards my Christian faith. Most if not all of my co-workers know that I am a Christian and that I live the life so to speak of a Christian. I have gotten comments that I don't swear, they wonder why, why don't I drink? What do I want to do after I am done school? I even receive apologies from some members of my team for the language that they use. How is my complaining influencing them? Probably not in a godly way...can we say conviction? Give me a resounding YES! Lord catch me in the act and help me to see what damage I could be doing. I need a Saviour for a reason and here is one small example.

The next passage I went to was the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. Lot was the main person of this passage and Lot was the one who took care of the angels that were sent to "take care of" the city. People in the city saw the angels go in who were actually described as men, the city people came banging on the door wanting to defile the men inside. Lot fought against that idea and told them that they could not have the men and that he has them in his house to protect them. Anyway I'm not going to go through the details of the whole story* but will fast forward to a part that had me asking questions. After Lot and his daughters were safely away from Sodom it talks about the daughters taking turns laying with him. I wonder what happened to their men that they were to be married to? Lot told them to flee with him, but it doesn't say what happened. So the daughters still felt the need to carry on their family line so they had sex with their father in order to do so. Now here is another area that I was thinking about. Had that way of life or the culture set in so deeply into these two young ladies that they were influenced to carry out a sexually immoral act with their our father. Hmmm...we see things like this all the time in our world. Kind of scary if you ask me. Thank you God for working in me to help me see my need for you and my ever need for dependence on you.

* For the whole story please find it in Genesis 19 but 18 is crucial to see how God works in the unfolding plan for 19

A good day

I had a wonderful day today well rest of the day, the morning started off a bit rough. I had a few reasons for this. However I did not let that put a damper on the whole day, most of those things were not important and got figured out just fine. One of my best friends and her hubby came for a visit tonight I took them out for dinner, then we went to the mall. I decided that I wanted to get a fish again as my little Inky died last Fall. Pets are a wonderful thing to have, the people I live with have a dog and a cat and I think that they are both great animals. They have some pretty awesome personalities and well they are just too cute. I know I might be considered odd for that comment. I enjoyed having a fish for two years prior to my going to Calgary. I think that Inky was distressed with the move to my current home and having my leave him, but then again he was old for a fish and at the point that I handed him to my landlord's to care for I was surprised that he lived through that summer as well. Inky was dark blue and got lighter towards the end of his body. This is why he was called Inky he looked like an ink blot. I missed having something to care for and planned on investing in another fish, so this time I got a red male betta. Jenn says to call him Tangerine...I just think I might...I like it!

Think before you speak

Many of us say things that we later regret. My biggest thing that I detest people saying is be thankful you don't have children. There are so many people out there that would love to be able to have children, but just can't. They struggle with infertility or they just haven't had any luck, then there are those who are like myself single and wanting to be married before having children. I am 30 years old and yes my biological clocking in ticking and probably more rapidly as I age sadly. I would love to have children, they are so precious to me, so sweet and innocent at birth and then slowly but surely you see that little sinful nature come out of them....sorry mom I am guilty of this even today. It is hard and disappointing to parents when they see this in their own children but it is a fact of life. We are all sinners even if we are a part of God's family. What many parents need to come to realize is that they together with God created that little person. They are sooo unbelieveably blessed to be granted parenthood of that child. If you are one of these people that says you can have mine or better think twice about having children. Just pause for a moment and think about how hard it would be and how you would feel if you lost that child in a tragic accident or something horrific happened that none of us would even like to entertain the idea of. For all of you who don't have children yet, allow God to show you the creation that he has blessed others with in the time being. Love and embrace the children that are in your life. I have many children that I absolutely love to pieces and can never imagine my life without them. They are dear to me and I sure hope that they know it. Looking past the tempers, and disobedience that they have and remembering how much we are to cherish this little beings that grace our presence...this is stemmed from a brief conversation I have had with my landlord. I have always felt this way, but felt it was time to say something about it here.

Chipmunk

So all of my life as far as I can remember I have had a few people giggle at me or comment that I look really cute when I am chewing something. My childhood best friend used to say that I looked like a chipmunk when I chewed, I didn't understand how or why that was. Do I chew different than everyone else? Today at work I didn't have a lunch break, but we are allowed to have snacks and such as we work, so I ate my granola bar that I brought. One of the full time girls was there while I was eating it and she just started to giggle and said that I look like a chipmunk as I was trying to eat it quick so that I could get back on the floor. She like turned to mush calling me cute. Not that I minded, but it was kind of strange that I was thought of as being cute by chewing on a granola bar. Anyway, just some thoughts put together today.

Post 50!

Disconnected

At times I feel so disconnected. I usually feel this way Sunday nights as the young adults gather together to chat and sometimes go out together. There is a song that I can relate to a lot by Casting Crowns called “If We Are The Body”

It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in
Trying to fade into the faces
The girls' teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

CHORUS
But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way
There is a way

A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat
And quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances tells him that his chances
Are better out on the road

Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the Body of Christ


I often feel like the traveller at church, but right now I feel like I am the one that is left out, ignored, the wallflower. I have been attending this church for 4.5 years and I love it there I truly do. I have a good relationship building between myself and several members; however most of them are over 60. No offence to them, as I love them dearly and wouldn’t trade those relationships any day for people who are my age, but at the same time it would be wonderful to connect more with people my age. I know that there are several who is in my age bracket in the church, but only...well truth be told only two or three of them will come and talk to me. I feel like they are standing in a circle at times and I am standing right on the outskirts of it and they are blind to the fact that I am there. They decide to hang out at times after church and I am very rarely included. The last time I was, was an invite from one of the couple of people that talk to me as she saw me walking to church and offered me a ride. That night was the first time I felt included since my first year there. I don't know why this is the case for me. Maybe because I am in Cambridge for school and they think she is only here for a short while. This is not true as this church is now my "home" I plan to live in Cambridge until the Lord sends me off at start another adventure with him to proclaim the good news to all people. Maybe I am eccentric, I don't know, I know I can have my weird awkward moments, but who doesn't. I'm not a pro at anything, I just want to know people. I want to know what God is doing in their life. I love investing in people and watching them grow in Christ. I want to hang out with these people, be a part of their odd lives as they are stretched and challenged in their faith. I don't want to be asked to hang out of obligation, or pressure or because they feel they should. I want to hang out with them, because they genuinely care about me and want to get to know me and to hang out with me. I am not on the in crowd, most of the young adults in my church were raised in a Christian and godly home, I did not. I gained most of my Christian knowledge while attending Heritage, but my heart, body and soul has be God's since I was 7 years old. Despite my different background I live for the same loving, graceful God that they do, yet I don't seem to be able to connect with them. Speaking from an electrician side...you cannot mix the wires together, but all the wires need to connect to complete the circuit. My wire is sticking out today. Even if you are reading this and knowing which church I go to, I do expect that you will not judge the church or the people inside it. God knows them, he knows the Pastor is very God honouring and he preaches it like it is. I commend him for that as this is not always what you find in a church. The people over all are great. I am not about to judge them, as I am just as guilty as they are...I am very shy but I will talk to people if they start up the convo and sometimes I will start (rarely), but especially if I know you well enough. If you are reading this and wanting to give me advice I will say that I really don't need any advice, this is not one of those advice needed things. This is more of a will you pray with me rant haha. Also if you go to my church I don't expect you to be telling any of the young people, but to pray instead, I know that I'm not the only one that has felt this way. Perhaps this has something to do with Heritage and that I did not go to NBBI or Emmanuel. I really don't know, but Heritage is where God led me, I will not dilberately go against God.

I really enjoy Sunflowers

It is hard for me not to enjoy sunflowers. They are nice and big and bright yellow. They brighten any dark spot and they just bring life. Kind of like the sun that tells us it is day, brings life to the flowers, trees and grass. The sun can give us a nice tan, which may not be the best thing for our skin, but we do sport a tan rather well. I mean come on look at black people and notice how goregous their smile is, it brightens up their whole face and our smiles are just that much more radiant with a nice golden brown tan. I could go further with this whole life part, I don't want to get all preachy or draw out an analogy that would be better left this time around. But here are some pictures that I took with some sunflowers I bought a couple of weeks ago.

"You are a beautiful young lady"

Early this week I was riding the bus to work and there was a young girl on the bus in a wheel chair, her mom I assume was sitting in front of her and facing her. Then there was a lady sitting on the other side of the bus that was talking with them I assume that she was a personal support worker. The girl communicated through moving her lips and clucking. Her mom was having a normal conversation with her so she knew her well. Oxygen tube attached to her throat. She was a very beautiful young girl at about the age of 10-13 (she may be older, but because of the health issues looks much younger). The oxygen was not on all the time, but she she needed air she would gag and tell her mom that she needs some. This happened several times while riding on the bus a few minutes. Mom finally told her to stop talking for a minute and she obeyed. Any time someone would get off of the bus and go to the back door she would cover her ears because the doors made a loud noise. I caught on to this so made the point to go to the front door and on the way to expressed to her that she is a beautiful young lady. Thinking how often will she be told that? I teared up on the bus after watching her gag a few times. It certaining was not easy seeing her suffer. After I got off the bus I really got choked up and had to use a tissue to dry up the tears and blow my nose. I truly believe that God knows how easy my heart breaks when I see his people suffering.

Not to mention that many people do not even get any notice or recognition of being alive when they are in a wheelchair as someone once pointed out to me. So I make it a point to at least smile at someone. The other day when I was returning home from work I noticed that there was an older man on the bus in a wheelchair. He got off at the Hespeler Terminal like I did and I had to wait for my bus so I went to Timmies and got a coffee and sat down after going to wash my hands. Then I saw that same man in the wheelchair in line to buy his coffee. Then I thought how in the world did he get in here as I thought about all the curbs and such that would prevent him from getting in. Hence when he was behind me even after I went to wash my hands. So curiousity got to me and I asked him how he got around to get in here. So he told me that he had to go all the way around, so it likely took him 3-5 minutes to get to Tim Hortons from the bus stop that takes me less than 15 seconds to get in the door. Here we are supposed to be making life easier for those in wheelchairs and yet they just learn to make do. Well I think this man was happy that I asked him, so much so that he asked if he could sit with me. I saw no harm in it and he told me that he was just at a meeting regarding the issues with this. We typically don't look at how much of a challenge it is for someone in a wheelchair until we look at life through their eyes. This man was a truck driver, but lost part of his leg and now he can't drive. So now he knows the difference in life obviously, as he lived on feet now he lives on his bottom. Here's my challenge for you...smile at that person in the wheelchair over there, invest in a short conversation with them. Hear their stories and fight with them or for them when it comes to making life that much more easier for them.

Alone

This could be a long blog, so if you don't have some time come back later.

This last year has been far different from the previous 3 years. I was surrounded by people almost everywhere I went. If I wanted to be alone I would retreat to my room. Although it was not always a peaceful alone time with my paper wall the previous two years. Then the year before that I had a bedroom mate. This year though in Calgary I had one VERY quiet roommate. Sometimes I didn't even know she was there. Then in the Czech Republic I lived on my own. Now back in Canada I am living with a great couple whom I feel blessed to live with, but I basically only see then for meals etc. We do watch a movie together from time to time but not much talking in that.

Life is different than I once knew it. It I wanted to visit with someone I would just come out of my room or go to someone room or go find some place to be to be around people. This is not so much the case anymore. Most of my dearest and closest friends have all moved a good distance away from Cambridge. I have some friends here though so it is nice to see them once in a while. But what I do long for is intimacy...who can I talk to about the deepest struggles and fears that I have? Who will be there when I really need a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to? Where will my help come from when I feel weary or depressed? Who will hold me accountable to the things which I claim so dear to my heart?

I have had much time to contemplate these things when I am alone. I was sitting in Tim Hortons today and I was feeling overwhelmed with my loneliness. Over the past several months I have felt dry in my walk with Christ and do not really know why that is. I feel like I was doing really well and found myself challenged greatly on the field in the Czech Republic, but yet fully clinging to God. Now I feel an inward battle. I honestly don't know how to describe it or know what is causing this feeling. However this is a feeling that I had similar to last Fall when God was working on something deep with in me and apparently other girls in my program as well. Talk about a confession session. It was a blessing then and it still is today as I look back and see where God has brought me and what he has taught me since then.

Over the last couple of weeks I have caught myself off guard with realizing that I was praying. My heart was in it for sure, but it wasn't until I started thinking about what I was saying that I realized that I was praying. I know now that my prayer life was suffering, but now is going well. In moments of silence and alone time I listen and wait. God is talking to me, having me see my sinful thoughts and ways. There were times in my life when I would think I'm not so bad, sure I do some bad things to people that they know of like the way that I talk to them and such. Though the last little while as I have looked at people with a tinge of judgement in my mind the Lord has been gently rebuking me or other similar things and he is working there too. I hate seeing the ugliness inside of me it is disgusting and revolting! Then I look at what Jesus has done for me and yet it doesn't make sense as to why God would want to take all the ugliness from me and from you. Yes I know that he loves us and wants to have a genuine relationship with us. The part that I still have such a hard to understanding is how easy it is to have a relationship with God. He just wants us to call on his name, confess with out mouth that Jesus is Lord and that he died for our sins. Then we are to confess our sins and turn from them, 180 degree turn. Talking about leaving the life behind you that you once lived and walking in the direction of our Lord and Saviour. It just seems so simple. Yes it is that simple, although the Christian walk is not all peaches and cream, but it is what we are called to do. We were made to Glorify God, the only way that we can do that is by having a personal relationship with him. Personal, like walking life with your best friend. We both talk and listen, we are there for one another in good and bad, sickness and health. So backing up to my questions that I have up there
...who can I talk to about the deepest struggles and fears that I have? Who will be there when I really need a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to? Where will my help come from when I feel weary or depressed? Who will hold me accountable to the things which I claim so dear to my heart?

The answer is God. I may struggle with this loneliness from time to time, but I know who will ALWAYS be there when I need them. I just hope and pray that I will continue to pursue him into bringing him glory.

What is my problem?

I actually know what my problem is but how do I solve the problem. I have been telling myself for days that I need to work on my exam and get researching for the paper. Days I tell you. I brought up the exam a few times and then I close it up. I have no desire what so ever to do it. I don't know how to change that. I know that I will feel better once it is done, but I would much rather do nothing at all. I would like to crochet, paint anything but write up my exam and start researching. This is ridiculous! How does one go about motivating herself? I honestly don't have a clue. Blah...anyone have any suggestions?

To indulge or not to indulge!

So I am working on losing weight which has been a very long battle. I eat pretty health most of the time, having a treat here and there. There were two specials on at Zehrs this week that were hard to say no to. First thing I noticed was Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream 3 for $10 for the 500ml cartons. Then there was also a meal deal on, a bbq chicken, salad and wedges. So this was my lupper. It was quite the tasty treat to eat, with the anticipation of the delicious "Half Baked" ice cream waiting for me in the freezer. Now I have eaten Ben and Jerry's once I believe, so I did not remember how delicious this ice cream would be. a spoonful here and there and before I knew it the tub was gone. Now I must confess that I didn't stop eating it because someone else was eating their whole thing. So I didn't want to stop either. I was very full afterwards and really regretted eating all of the two cups of ice cream. However, boy oh boy was it tasty. I will say I suffered greatly from my over indulgence. Yes I said over...it was too much. About an hour after eating this I became very lathargic and flopped on my bed. I fell asleep almost right away and time slipped away from me, before I knew it I had 45 minutes left before I would have to leave to go to the prayer meeting at church. I debated it actually if I should go, I didn't know if I would have the energy to walk there and back. However I forced myself wanting to walk off some of the effects of the ice cream as well as some of the many calories I inhaled. I feel much better now that I have at least 40 minutes worth of walking in after such an intake of food. Lesson learned one serving of ice cream will do. Any other treats need to be broken down too...I have a goal in mind and I am determined to reach it.

"Let the races begin!"

I started the new job on Monday and boy did I hit it off with one of the key holders who was training me. She talked about her other job as she works at a dirt track. I got excited because not even a week before that I asked my landlord's if there was a track nearby. They didn't know, well apparently there is one only 45 minutes away. So I talked with my co-worker and said that I just love the sprint cars. She was shocked that I knew what a sprint car was and that I enjoyed the races. At the end of the night she gave me two for one passes.


My first day was great and knew right away that this was the perfect place for me. The girls have already been teasing me and I them. They wonder why I need training as I already know most everything about retail cleaning and folding of the clothes.

I was only scheduled to work Monday and Saturday as I am training. However, I got a call on Wednesday to pick up an extra shift, so I did, but it wasn't a 3 or 4 hour shift. It was a full shift of 6 hours, would have been 7 but they called less than an hour of when they wanted me to come in.

I'm love it already, this is good and so is the Lord for providing it.

30!

I turned 30 today and was treated real special. My cousin invited me to her place for some lunch so I played with her baby and stuff. My mom told me to take my time etc. So I called my mom to see if the kids were ready for me and stuff so I could come home. Well everyone was in on things for me. my aunt came to meet me at my cousins to walk with me back home for her "walk", trying to get me to walk slowly and walking a different way and everything. Then I came home and saw a big sign on the front lawn that the children coloured it, walked inside and it smelled good, like sweet and sour meatballs. Here I thought that they were taking me to Montana's. Walk into the kitchen and there was a table set up with food and a cake on the table and everything. Another on of my aunts was in the play room with the children. Then my cousin came in with her three children and my sister as she went to pick her up and then they told me that I walk too fast. haha. This is the cousin whose house I was just at. My friend Niki was there with her hubby and of course the girls. My dad came late unfortunately with his fiance Felica. We had a great time overall, just chilling out and having some fun and talking. T'was a pleasant day. No Montana's with just my parents, other people were involved on my turning of three decades and I really enjoyed it.

As for turning 30, well I have to say that I have not reached anything that I aspired to be by this time in my life. Like my career choice for example (I was planning on being an interior designer) and figured my schooling would be over by now...one more year. I had hoped to be married by 23 with children to follow within the next year...no prospects as of yet, but I do have 6 very important children in my life. Hopefully they all know it...I believe that 4 of them are sure as I see them most often. I have been dealing with how I feel about turning 30 for a few weeks and to be honest it feels sort of depressing because I did not achieve anything that "I planned" by this time. However I have also been thinking that I was also not in tune with what God wanted from me at that point. I am also not the same person that I was at 23 when I had hoped to be married. I have grown and matured in many ways since then. I almost have my degree, which will be acquired before I am 31. Where were these depressing thoughts coming from? I would say from the world, where people in the world put on the pressures to be someone within 5 years after high school. Where people marry their high school sweetheart or their first love from college or unversity. I am where God wants me to be. I have Tabetha and some others to thank for reminding me of that and helping me to get my thinking straight.

Blessings,

Christina

My Absolute Favourite Hymn

We go to church we sing songs. Some of them we sing from memory, some of them we sing because we like the tune. There are a few songs that I detest that I hear sung in church and other places as well the main reason is because of the theology that is behind them. Yes, I used the word theology. Not really a me thing to say or to even talk about. One of those songs would be "These are the Days of Elijah" the tune is catchy and so many people like singing it, but the words are just out there. There are a few songs that can bring me to tears when I focus on the words and yes the melody is moving too. The Song "Be Thou My Vision" is one of those powerful songs that just grips my heart everytime I sing it. It is powerful. It is an Irish Hymn and the words are so powerful. I will summarize for those of you who don't read well with the thou's etc. after the verses in blue.

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be my vision, Lord of my heart. Nothing else can save me but you. You are my best thoughts during the day and night. Whether I am awake or asleep your presence is my light.

2. Be Thou my Wisdom, Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee, Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

You are my Wisdom and my true Word. I am always with you and you are with me Lord. You are my Great Father and I am your son. You dwell in me and I am one with you.

3. Be Thou my battle-shield, sword for my fight,
Be Thou my dignity, Thou my delight.
Thou my soul's shelter, Thou my high tower.
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

You are my shield in a battle and my sword for the fight. You are my dignity and my delight. You are my soul's shelter and my high tower. You raise me heavenward and power my power.

4. Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise,
Thou mine inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

I do not need riches or man's empty praise. You are my inheritance now and always. Only you and you alone are first in my heart. You are the High King and my treasure.

5. High King of heaven, my victory won,
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heav'ns Son!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my vision, O ruler of all.

High King, my vistory (battle) is won. May I reach (grasp) heaven's joys Heaven's Son (Jesus). Heart of my own heart (his heart is ours) whatever happens, still be my vision (be my guide) Ruler of all!

These words are deep and have so much meaning behind them. If you do not know Christ as your Saviour or have any questions regarding what the meaning of these words are please contact me, leave me a comment or email me. You likely have my contact info if you are reading this. My heart is that you would know Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour that you would know that he is the ONLY way to be saved from your sins. You need a personal relationship with God the creator of heaven and earth.

Oversized load

I have been talking with a couple of friends lately as some different things have come up that have been challenging on many different fronts. I have used an analogy of overloaded trucks. If they are large in anyway that exceeds their size they have flags. Then I put the thought that we as humans at times are overloaded and we just keep getting overloaded by trying to carry other people's burdens as well. Why don't we have flags? I know that as Christians we are to give all those matters back to God, but how is it possible not to carry these burdens that are God's burdens if we are to see things through his eyes. We are supposed to gain his heart for his people right? So how are we supposed to do this, without feeling overwhelmed?

There are times when I hear some people say that they hate people. I can honestly say that I love people I hate the sins that people get intwined in, but I love them neither way. I enjoy listening most of the time about struggles that people are facing so that I can bring them forth in prayer to our God. At times there are things that are so deep and someone has hurt some one very deeply by their words and have no idea that they did it. Those are the times that I want to smack some sense into that person to make them realize what they did to the person that they supposedly love. I do blame sin, there is no doubt in my mind that this is the case. So I challenge my readers to go and make things right with the person you wronged. If you don't know if you have and are a believer of our Lord Jesus Christ, ask him to reveal it to you.

Rough day

I had a rough one today. No words to describe the feelings that running through my body and my mind. This morning was fine, then I headed to work. I have been feeling anxious about working there and I don't really know why, but I usually do for the first while until I know the job well. I have worked in retail clothing before, but H&M is different than all of those places. I do like the differences, but this is also the largest clothing store that I have worked in. Many articles of clothing look the same to me especially if they are white or black shirts. So today I was called into the office before starting my shift. I got talked to about my previous shift where we got out fairly late. I tried to tell her of my anxiety of starting new jobs and that I haven't had all that many shifts since I started. Only 4 shifts of being on the floor. I got told that I should be faster, but it is hard to be fast if I don't know where most of the clothing goes. The people over all are great if I ask them a question, but really who wants to be asked a million times where something goes. I think that it would be good for me to look for it, but apparently looking too carefully is wasting time. I knew that I took a long time cleaning up the kids department, but I just haven't found my groove yet. Then of all things to do I started crying, as I told her that we lost a fellow student (graduate) this week. What a mess! I hate that I am so emotional, but how can I control them? So after my little chat I hit the floor and got to work, I wandered around to see where things were, but that didn't seem to make too much of a dent when I had to put clothes away. My fitting room shift went well, then I ran again (putting things in their home) Got more put away faster this time I think. The whole time that I was going today I was trying to work faster. Then when I was on register, I was trying to go fast, but then I made a bunch of little errors. After close I seemed to fit in the time restrictions that the manager gave me. I believe that she did this because she was "watching" me as per directions from the manager that talked to me. However, she did the time thing with others. Oh Lord, give me the memory to know where things going and to be faster at doing my job.

There was a young man named Craig

Craig was a man who had a great presence about him. He was a confident man and knew that he could accomplish any task that he set his mind to. He was very intelligent and he knew how to love. He loved Kristin with all of his heart in tune with the love that he had for the Lord. He cherish his wife Kristin to the end of his days and will continue to do so in heaven. Today marks one of the saddest days his wife will ever have to face. With only being married for less than one year, just lost her husband to a tragic accident when overseas teaching. Her heart in a million pieces, with her family and friends trying to be strong for her and helping her put those pieces back together. Then are being the outter edge of the puzzle which is the foundation to who she is. They are sitting with her and praying with her. Hugging her and crying with her. Oh Lord, we do not understand the reasoning behind all of this. We cling to you through this tragic time.

Craig had a heart for the nations. He wanted to serve in the mission field with his wife and share the love of God with all of His people. Having shared many classes with Craig and seeing him at the missions chair person at Heritage, you could see where his heart was. Serving along and among his wife and Korean's, he ministered to them and with them. You will always be remembered Craig.

Kristin and family, if you read this. I want you to know that I am praying for you. I know this will be tough so you are lifted up and given over to our God.

The First Day

I have finally found a job and am part time sale advisor at H&M. So today was my first day and we were going through all the paperwork and apparently making a mess. The manager was training two of us and we were in the middle of discussing the hangers and they actually have a cool hanger system if people use them right. The bars are removable and have a clip thing that goes over top to hold the hangers in place in case something happens. As the manager was demonstrating this and putting it back afterwards, the cover on the one end of the bar so it fell down. Then she tried to fix it and another bar fell. Then I tried to fix it and a whole whack of them fell down. We finally got the ones on the floor cleaned up and then my manager was going to get the one that was kind of behind some bars that didn't fall at the bottom of the row. Well those ones didn't last long, and they crumbled to the floor in a heap and then the manager threw up her hands and decided to get it later. We all had a good laugh though, so this lighted the weight of the first day.

A positive experience

This past Tuesday I went out and about in Cambridge and handed out a few resumes. Not too many as apparently my phone isn't going to be up and working (this is not the positive experience). I basically only went to the mall and walked through there and only handed out about 8 resumes there I also put out 2 via email. I got an interview at Reitman's which is the only retail store that I have ever really wanted to work in. The Children's Place in another place, because I love the quality of the clothes as well as the prices (I do have nephews and god daughters that fit their clothes). The Children's Place was a good experience as I handed the manager my resume and we talked for about ten minutes. I kind of thought that he was a Christian because he knew what some of the churches in the area did and he also knew that I would be trustworthy because of where I go to school. Reminder to my fellow students, we do represent the school as well as ourselves when we go out into the working world. He also remembered me from last year as he called me towards the end of the summer looking for an interview. Sad thing is I only had about a month left in the area so I had to turn him down. Apparently it was memorable that I called him just to say that I was interested but wouldn't be around much longer now. I never once felt that I was declined for a resume or even thought of to be dismissed right away from having a chance at a job. God is so good to give me such a positive experience with just handing out resumes. WOW!

a troubled heart

Tonight as I was writing in my journal I heard my neighbours fighting. This is not uncommon, but the loud banging was new. Then I heard their little boys no more than two years old crying. Though his crying was louder than normal. He was outside of his door. Other than his crying there was no other sounds, no voice calming him, no comfort or care given to him. He stopped, and so I thought that it was over. I decided to come down to the computer to catch up on emails. I heard him crying again, but I went out anyway. What I saw I did not expect. The little boy was standing there in the dark all alone shaking like a leaf and his shirt all stretched out. I said ahoj to him, but didn't know what else I could do beyond that as far as my cultural understanding goes. What would be deemed appropriate and what wouldn't. Would I make the parents angry and worried for their child? I just didn't know what to do. I walked past him for fear of making him more scared with a stranger there and fought the tears until I was out of ear shot from him. As soon as I knew he couldn't hear my sniffles I let it out. How could someone do that to such a small child. Oh how heavy my heart is tonight. I cannot call my mentors for advice as I don't have enough for a call or text on my cell phone. I am torn.

Memory Lane

I was going down memory lane yesterday unintentionally. I did not expect that I would be remembering found moments. I was just sorting through all of my pictures on my computer as I from last semester in Calgary.

I was looking at photos of people who have come near and dear to my heart. Pictures with the directors of CrossTraining sitting so nicely with the smiles that were often upon their lovely faces. Waiting for a gift given in love from the group. Amanda getting tangled up in her scarf from Len and Marrian. Christy with some scowl on her face then some where she looks as though she will attack you. Kaitlyn looking so sweet and innocent doing up some dishes at our retreat...then the thought of me scaring her very badly. hehe. My evil eye on Kurt and the banana goop stuck to his eye. Lee with his bright eyes and big smiles, caused me to think of the morning at the retreat when he came to breakfast in his pajamas with anticipation that everyone else was going to be in their pajamas as well. Not so! Oops. Joe well he's just an awesome guy with great pictures, I have memories of him before but his hearty laugh and his deep and intense prayers play in my mind.

I just want you all to know that I love you all and miss you a great deal. Here is to hoping that we shall cross paths again. Please keep in touch. Being thinking of you a lot lately and have been in much prayer for you all.

Mixed Emotions

I am starting up my last week in the Czech Republic. I don't know how to feel and am surprised at how fast the three months has gone. Today starts the last of things like last Thursday English club, last Bible Study in Czech. I leave next Thursday morning from this country that I have grown to know about and in some senses come to love as well. Some people are asking me if this is where I think that God wants me to serve full-time. I cannot answer this right now because I really don't know. I know that upon returning to Canada I am looking for work that will get me through for a while. I am hoping and praying to get into an immigration centre to help immigrants coming into Canada. Then keep that job for a good while until I feel that I am to go overseas full-time or full-time ministry in general. I know that I will miss the people that I have gotten to know. Yet I am happy to go home and see all my kiddies that are near and dear to my heart. See all my friends and family members too. I'm also actually looking forward to working to pay off some of the debt that is sitting over my head if that can be believed. The day count down begins...What day should I start packing? I know that I have to do the last of my laundry on Tuesday so that it will be dry by Thursday. So I think that I will start packing Tuesday, but finish Wednesday night as my flight leaves in the am Thursday. Wow I'm coming back home Canada.

I taught English

Yes you read correctly. I taught English today to three Czech women. I cannot normal speak English well and my grammar is poor. They ladies didn't seem to notice thankfully. I thought them about Canada and what some things are that make us different than Czech people. I told them about the geography of the country, which led to Tim Horton's, then money, the flag and about our Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving customs. I felt good about the day, though of course saw many areas for improvement. I will say that it was very fun to do this, I would not complain about teaching English again.

Czech friendships

Most Czech people are very hard to get to know. They have this barrier around them and they will not let people in until they trust you and know you well. At this rate it takes a very long time to be able to do this. So far I have been able to build into four of the woman a friendship that I hope will last beyond my time here. Although two of them do not speak English well or have a good understanding of it, I know that both of them try very hard. Today one of these ladies asked me to join her and a friend to go to the open air market. I agreed, on the way back my new found friend decided to give me some chocolate that she bought for her daughters and I. She knows that I can't eat it just yet. The thing is that she thought of me and in her broken Czech she put a finger up and said "Christina, one sheep and one chick." This was her gift to me a foil wrapped chick and sheep, I had told her just prior to her buying them what they were. She knew the sheep one as we talked about sheep last week on our three hour walk. So she started saying it as she was trying to remember the rest of the word. Then when it came to the chick she had no idea what it was in English. She also remembers "beautiful" which was used last week to express the fact that it was a beautiful day and I learned "krasny den" which is the Czech version. I am also working on a gift basket to give to my friend that is helping with a project. In it will contain things that I know she likes or is into. So far I have a basket, with chocolates, and a tea that I know she likes and I made her a dishcloth. I plan to add a plant and some other things as more things come up. All this to say, I feel like I have been thoroughly blessed by these Czech women. This I know is only coming from the Lord. Thank you Lord Jesus!

My comfort food in the Czech Republic

I am out of my element. I do not belong in the Czech Republic and yet I am here. I do not know all of the food that is in the store. Some things are just downright outrageous to think about eating such things. I don't have a vast array of things to choose from like I do in Canada. I am okay with all of this, though I do miss certain tastes and things that are from my home country. Places are also something that I miss. Like Tim Horton's, if I have loose change and a friend handy, this is one of my favourite places to go. I don't have that here. One thing that I have found however is something that not everyone likes. I personally used to hate them, but developed a taste for them over the last 5 years or so. With this said I haven't gone out of my way to buy them for myself until I was dating over a year ago, I still buy these every now and then. However mushrooms are found to be a comfort food when I am out of my home land. I bought some a couple of weeks ago for the first time since I have been in the Czech Republic. I just thought that nice fresh mushrooms would be nice to have with a chicken meal, potatoes and some brussel sprouts. I pan fried then and couldn't wait to eat them. The instant I started to chew this fungal veggie I was so comforted. I have never felt that way before. It was a bazaar feeling but I will not trade it for anything. Next week mushrooms will be had again. Mmmmmmmm!

Deliciousness!

I love cooking! I love cooking for others more, but that doesn't happen very often. Especially with me being a student. Anyway, several weeks ago I visited fellow missionaries in Prague and they had me over for dinner. My way of helping was mashing cornflakes for breaded fish. I sort of knew how the whole breading process went, but mine was usually a failure. I washed as my new friend battered the fish and kept that in my mind.

Today I decided to have fish and to bread it myself. So out came the flour, eggs and cornflakes. Yes I had everything, though something was a little different. My cornflakes were honey and nut...hmmm interesting combination. I didn't care, who am I impressing...no one because I'm cooking for me. So I will try anything at least once. So I went through the process of breading my fish, I also made homemade home fries or hashbrowns. I was rather excited to eat my dinner tonight. I waited with anticipation to eat that fish and the hashbrowns and the broccoli from yesterday that I was getting antsy, trying a potato every few minutes to see if they were cooked through yet...they take forever! Anyway, my fish was looking tasty and so were the potatoes finally. I served it up and was not too sure of the fish at first...I was actually worried that it wasn't cooked through, but it was nice and white. The honey and nut cornflakes actually made the whole thing more delicious. I was so happy at how it turned out with that said I am glad that I cooked two of them so I can eat one tomorrow or Saturday. That was awesome! You and I should share a meal one day! Though if you are a guy...I will likely request more people to join in.

Prayer Walks

Prayer walks are something that very few people do that I know of. I do one everyday when I go for my walk, usually praying for some one different everyday. IE. Monday for missionaries I personally know well, Tuesday for my dearest and closest friends, Wednesday for the ministry times coming up, Thursday for Heritage, Friday for family, Saturday and Sunday for whatever the Lord brings to mind.

Today I attended the Thursday night Bible Study which alternates weeks with the small group. For the last three Bible Studies it has been just English speakers. We don't know why this is happening, but we are thankful and praising God through it. The Lord knows that we need to hear English once in a while. I still pray that others will come again. After our time in the Word, we had some time for prayer. Then my mentor asked us if we were interested in going for a prayer walk. So we did this, we walked around a huge section...only 15 minute walk mind you. Then as we walked around apartment buildings we prayed a loud together. I loved it! I have never actually done this and never knew how powerful it could be. Wow is all I can say after that. Why do we as believers neglect this way of prayer for the people in our cities that we are in a sense ministering to?

A touch of sweetness from the heart

I just love it when people take what they have learned about you and use it later on. Yesterday I had my first guest come to my home. She is helping me with an assignment that I must complete while I am here in the Czech Republic. First she handed me some bananas as she knows that I am giving up chocolate and other things. She thought that bananas would be nice because they are sweet. Then she proceeds to take her coat off and boots and put on her slippers. After she did this she handed me a bag with something in it for my "flat" to feel like home. She gave me a Deffenbaccia. There is a story behind this as well. I shared with her about how my grandma had that plant and gave one to my mom. Then later on my mom gave me one as well. So I have memories from a plant. So here she remembered this and brought one for me to enjoy while I am here in Czech Republic.

Blessings

3 + 184

I little while back I wrote a blog about a hill that I would attempt to climb daily...here it is:

The climb takes about 10 minutes with only a brief breather about half way up. Then on the way down you want to break to give your knees a rest from them getting all wobbly. I enjoy the great feeling of accomplishment that comes to me at the top of this hill. I walk around a bit to catch my breath yet again and to look at the city below me.

I don't know if you can see them, but I placed an X on three places. Purple marks the Penny Market where I do most of my grocery shopping. Red marks the church and blue marks my home. You might be able to tell that my home is very close to the church.

The hill was put on hold for a little while because of the snow on top of it which covered the stairs like the whole thing was a slope. It was very dangerous coming down the hill with all the snow on the stairs. This Sunday I checked it out again and the stairs are clear enough to walk up and down them...all 184 of them. The ramps (3) are a bit icy but it's getting better daily. So while those stairs were icy I would walk on a trail...here is a picture. About half of it runs along the river.

For the love of chocolate!!!

If you know me well enough you know my love for chocolate. I have kicked myself off of chocolate, pop and chips during lent and hopefully longer. So with this I am allowed one of these things on Sunday, which will most likely be chocolate because I love it so much. Anyway today I went to the grocery store just for chocolate, but bought banana's too so I didn't look like a freak haha. I actually wanted Banana's but didn't plan on buying them until in the store. I want to make Banana bread but need another banana or two. So I come home excited to try this new chocolate bar, but I put a load of laundry in the washer and changed as I got dirty from my walk on the hill prior to shopping. So I came down to the ministry space to use the computer to check my emails. I unwrap my chocolate bar with great anticipation. I am so excited to eat this lovely chocolate that I take a huge bite. To my dismay it tasted and smelled like it had alcohol in it. It was nasty! I couldn't believe how gross it was. OH WOW! I was so saddened by this, a lovely chocolate bar ruined by alcohol. Why do they do that and tease me. I guess it might have helped if I read the label and maybe knew what I was reading haha, but still! I will not go back to the store now as I will look silly to the cashier. So I will wait again until next week, and I will not try something new unless someone I know and trust recommends it. Don't people understand that alcohol and chocolate just don't mix well? Especially when you are not a huge fan of alcohol??? GROSS!

a few modifications

It was made aware to me that not everyone that would like to post on my blog could. So I made some changes so that you can do that if you like. Thanks for letting me know!

Language blunders...

Language is a wonderful thing. This is how we all communicate with one another. Often when you know more than one language you can communicate more with others of a different tongue. Then some times you muddle the languages up and you say something to someone in a language that they don't understand. That would be a blunder. Well I have certainly had a few. I'll tell you of the most recent one and then of the oldest one.

I had fun at the bakery the other day. I went alone and this was also my first time going. So I went in there and said "účím se česky"...meaning I am learning Czech. So I ordered 4 buns, but as it turned out she was filling grocery bags lol. Four buns shouldn't fill bags. I had said 40 without realizing it. Then a couple of teens came in and I told them what I meant and they told the lady what I meant to say. I walked out with 4 buns...next time I will say five it is easier anyway. This is at least the more innocent looking one haha.

This one took place in nineth grade and my teacher would have a game before we wrote our vocab. quiz. So she has two students go up to the front and she would say a word in English and we would have to write our word in French up on the board. The word: Punish, so I wrote it. Well then the whole class starts laughing and I have no idea why, then my teacher looks at me as straight as she can and says Christina can you please erase that off of the board. I look and to my horror I wrote P E N I S. So I quickly erased it all embarrassed and ashamed that I did that and then wrote P U N I S. It was an honest mistake, but still haunts me to this day haha. My teacher thankfully knew that it was an accident because she knew that I stood for Christ even then. I talked with her a few months ago and she still remembers that.

Anyway, it is nice to know that people understand those moments and are willing to forgive. If they are kind haha. Would you care to share your blunders?

One year ago...

One year ago to the day I was treated like a queen. Spoiled by cinnamon buns for breakfast, and a "Hug" placed in my hands, when their hand was placed in mine. One of my best friends got engaged. It was a wonderful day were my friends and I shared much happiness together by sharing a meal together to celebrate the engagement of our mutual friends Jenn and Andy. I could cherish this day forever, however God had a change of plans in mind that would happen within the next two days and then the rest of the week. I did not see this coming for far off, but as soon as it started I knew that something that I did not want to happen was going to happen. God knows this too. I was no longer a piece of this young man's life, God had a different plan. I know that a while back I wrote that my heart is no longer his. However, this day and this week will prove to be a bit tough to work through as I know how hard it was one year ago. I will seek God daily to have me be strong through it and not to focus on the past but to focus on what is to come. He knows my desires and at times I believe that they are in tune with his desires, but the Lord only knows if that is the truth of the matter. God help me to look ahead instead of what is behind. For I fear that I may trip myself up and lose focus for what you have in store for me. I hate to be alone and I have so much love to give. I thank you Lord that you have placed so many people in my life that I can love with the love that you have filled me with. The Lord be my guide and my fortress that I run to in times like these.

God bless what?

That title might have intrigued you, but I have been wondering what the whole meaning of saying God bless is really all about.

Often at the end of a conversation between two Christian one says God bless and the other says God bless you too. However, I have been thinking about this. Perhaps I am thinking too deeply on such a small thing. Why do we say God bless when we know full well that we are blessed by God? I could pray in thanksgiving everyday for an hour or better just thanking him for all that he has blessed me with, this is not including the people that I know that have been blessed by God through various things. I just don't understand or know why it is that we say this to one another. Does anyone have any good solid answers on this? I don't think that this is a Biblical principal, or am I wrong?

Can you help me out with this thought process?

The power of prayer

Alright so this isn't too much of something that has happened as of late. I mean I know what the power of prayer can do.

I have been reading a book called "Touch the World Through Prayer" by Wesley Duewel, it is a book that has got me thinking more regularly about prayer. I love to be in prayer, but this book has me rethinking how and what I pray for. I love books that challenge my thinking and this is one of those. I highly recommend it even though I am not even half way through it. However I think that God is trying to teach me something through this I am not sure what though. Last night I was at my mentors home having dinner with them as we kind of celebrated my completion of my Czech language course and while there I borrowed a couple of movies. One of them was "Facing the Giants" it is a Christian movie, but it all honesty was probably the best one as far no cheese is concerned. If you haven't seen this movie it is also a recommended one from me. It is basically about a coach and his football team in a Christian high school and this team was on it's 7th year of a losing streak. In the school there was a man who walked through the halls and prayed for every individual student as he walked past their locker. The lives of all of those students was changed because of this man. Prayer is the key to everything in the Christian life. Last semester I wrote a paper on prayer and this discipline is still sitting on my heart. I know it is a key thing. I love to sit there and pray for my family and friends, which means that you as my reader get prayed for. I know there are many situations in my life that have been bathed in prayer and though areas of my life have been changed around. I believe that God knows our thoughts before they come to mind, but when we take many of those thoughts and turn them into prayer he is right there with us as well. Now that I am overseas and working with people who are so involved in ministry I see that it comes with its struggles. What is the first thing that we should do? Turn it into a prayer...God wants to be in the battlefield with us, on our side and conquering that battle alongside us and winning the battle.

All this to say, don't underestimate the power of prayer.

Fitness and Finesse

I have made some fitness goals and while at it hope to attain some finesse. I have been battling with my weight for a very long time. I have had success at losing fifty pounds at one point. I also put a bit of that back on when I was in Calgary, AB. Then with being in Europe where everything is salty, fat and with lots of breads I'm sure I added a bit more. No more I say. I need to be active, I know I function better when I have it. With me living right above my ministry space and nothing being more than a 10 minute walk away I need something more.

There is one thing that I am thankful for and that is stairs. I have the stairs to my apartment and then my mentors live on the 5th floor so this week I used the stairs instead of the elevator. I was also told about a hill that I could walk up. I didn't see this hill and thought where is it? Lisa my mentor showed me where it was, it looked pretty high and so I thought hmmm. What if I make it a goal to walk to the top every day? Well I started today, I thought about it many times this week but just didn't do it. So this morning I got up, changed into workout wear and went to this hill. Now it is higher than I thought it was, the steps are covered with snow with maybe a little spot showing where others climbed the stairs. I had to stop once and then when I thought that I was done the climb I saw that there were still more stairs. So after a little breather I went up again. Again I thought that I was at the highest spot when indeed I wasn't. I stopped three times to catch my breath and if you know me at all you know I don't like to walk slow. I finally made it to the top and was in awe of the beauty of the town. There is only one place up there and I believe that it is a restaurant and then there is a look out spot about half way down. I checked out the lookout spot and decided to look for my place, and I found it. So when I get batteries for my camera I'll take a picture of the view. The railings that went up alone the stairs were quite wet which mean my mittens got very wet, I had to wring them out a few times. After getting off the hill I felt great, not only did I get a good workout, but I also got to see a great view of Kralupy. So this is something that I plan to do daily or at least every other day. On top of this I have been doing a floor workout nearly every day also....now just to watch out of the fats, salts and breads.

A revelation of sorts

What an exhausting day! I'm very tired, today I had language class, met up with a new missionary here and we toured the Prague Castle today....quite the walk. I was on my feet pretty much the whole afternoon. It is quite the hike up to the castle, lots of stairs and incline. We walked through a couple of churches. They are absolutely stunning. They can take your breath away with the grandeur of the building and architecture. Your neck gets tired from looking up at the paintings and statues of these buildings. Then to stand there and look at the size of the building and picturing it being packed full of people. Now this wouldn't be a hard thing to do with all the tourists. However, what about those who are there for the purpose of why it was built in the first place. It was built for the purpose of people gathering together to worship God. What do we see this building as being now? A popular tourist spot, some are still free to go into, why does it cost anything to walk into a church??? This nation seriously needs revival! All of these big grand churches are empty. Empty spiritually and physically, not counting those who walk through there for the sights. I mean there are churches here, but with my church being at about 20 people and the building being shared with another church, just makes me ponder. What truly happened to Christianity that it would die a death to this extreme. Sure I know what happened through history, but seriously were there really only a few Christians who survived this? I know that Christianity is growing, but to think of going back generations just after Christianity just died off, how many would claim they were true Christians who are living by the word and worshiping the one true God. Was there just a handful? Obviously I do not know the answer to this, but these are questions that came to my heart and my mind today while walking around. Please share your thoughts.

Garlic!!!

Alright so we all know that I cannot read a lick when it comes to Czech. I went shopping the other day and saw to cheap chips and thought well I'll get them and try them out. I enjoy trying new things so why not I thought.I grabbed a bag of bacon flavour and another with garlic, thinking I like garlic. Well nothing like eating a clove of garlic a chip, OY that's strong stuff. Anyway, with the language stuff said, I'm half way through the first week now. I get frustrated and confused at times, but I know that it will make sense sooner or later.

*Note to self, stay away from the garlic chips lol!

Europe is where it is at

Here I write from Europe now. I am in the Czech Republic which was formerly known as Czechslovakia. It became its own country in 1993 if I remember correctly. The city that I live in is Kralupy and it is just outside of the capital Prague. As North Americans we often think of our downtown areas as old. That is an understatement, the towns here are near ancient it seems to me. The buildings look like they could crumble at anytime. Hopefully not though. The buildings certainly have a lot of character. The building that I live in is pretty stunning in my books. I live right above a copy shop in the downtown core which is also right beside the ministry space where I will be working. I use the same entry as the ministry space. I have a spiral staircase to walk up to my floor to which there are three apartments. My ceilings are high and I love it! My bedroom is painted blue and many blue accents have been added. Have a taste.

I also made a trip to Prague last week so that I will know where my language course will be. I took a few pictures there, but I'll just add the picture of me and the Prague Castle in the distance behind me along with another of me about to enjoy a Czech dish.

Oh so long!

This could be a long post as it has been oh so long since I wrote anything.

I leave in two short days to go to another country. I can't believe it and the reality of this adventure still hasn't sunk in. This is likely because I am not there yet. I was fine with it until today in my thoughts, today I have been all over the place with my emotions and I am sure that it is going to be even worse between tomorrow and Sunday. I am of course excited to go, but scared and apprehensive too. I don't know where my thoughts are as they are all scattered everywhere.

I have been home for almost a month now and the first two weeks back was mainly time with my family with spending Christmas with them and seeing many members of the family on all sides. I have enjoyed my visiting times very much. I also spent ten days between London, Cambridge and Kitchener. Through those ten days I saw many people and loved that as well. It was wonderful to be able to see so many people that I love and care about during the time back in Ontario. It was such a blessing and encouragement.

So if you think about it and see this before I travel to Czech Republic please pray for me. I have an apartment to call my own and am very excited to live in it. I have been told that I have a blue bedroom, which is something that I always wanted.

Blessings on all you readers.