Rough day

I had a rough one today. No words to describe the feelings that running through my body and my mind. This morning was fine, then I headed to work. I have been feeling anxious about working there and I don't really know why, but I usually do for the first while until I know the job well. I have worked in retail clothing before, but H&M is different than all of those places. I do like the differences, but this is also the largest clothing store that I have worked in. Many articles of clothing look the same to me especially if they are white or black shirts. So today I was called into the office before starting my shift. I got talked to about my previous shift where we got out fairly late. I tried to tell her of my anxiety of starting new jobs and that I haven't had all that many shifts since I started. Only 4 shifts of being on the floor. I got told that I should be faster, but it is hard to be fast if I don't know where most of the clothing goes. The people over all are great if I ask them a question, but really who wants to be asked a million times where something goes. I think that it would be good for me to look for it, but apparently looking too carefully is wasting time. I knew that I took a long time cleaning up the kids department, but I just haven't found my groove yet. Then of all things to do I started crying, as I told her that we lost a fellow student (graduate) this week. What a mess! I hate that I am so emotional, but how can I control them? So after my little chat I hit the floor and got to work, I wandered around to see where things were, but that didn't seem to make too much of a dent when I had to put clothes away. My fitting room shift went well, then I ran again (putting things in their home) Got more put away faster this time I think. The whole time that I was going today I was trying to work faster. Then when I was on register, I was trying to go fast, but then I made a bunch of little errors. After close I seemed to fit in the time restrictions that the manager gave me. I believe that she did this because she was "watching" me as per directions from the manager that talked to me. However, she did the time thing with others. Oh Lord, give me the memory to know where things going and to be faster at doing my job.