No, this sitting under conviction is nothing new. I love that about my God! Though it is almost always a painful process I'm thankful that he is still working on me. I am by no means perfect or better than anyone else. I am reminded of this often and even have had people point that out to me. A hard pill to swallow when someone points out that I act like I am better than others. I have never felt that I am that's for sure. Life has a way of pointing that out as I face trials of many kinds and almost constantly. I have been facing many battles lately, but most of them revolve around work. I do not like my job anymore, I do not have a peace about working there anymore, well I haven't really most of this year and yet I'm still there. However, I have also learned a lot about myself and my relationship with others and with God throughout this entire time working there this year. Most of these things are coming to light just in the last couple of weeks.
1. I don't do well with change. I consider myself an organized person and like schedules and knowing what to expect next. So my idea of work would be a schedule that I can come to rely on and know what to expect while working. So working steady days or afternoons, and having the same days off all the time would be ideal. Not to throw me a curve ball and put me to work on a day that I would not normally work and making that day and time extremely rushed. I don't like to be rushed it effects my mood and temperament way too much.
2. I need to keep my thoughts and opinions to myself about work when it comes to talking with my co-workers. Even though this is the main place where I have someone to talk to about it. Mind you I don't think that this is what would be ideal for ministry/missions. This is also where I see that I'm not "meant" for the secular work world.
3. Yesterday while at church I heard the message clearly throughout the Sunday school lesson and the two sermons. One quote that jumped out at me and grasped my heart tightly was. "Let's turn Cambridge upside down with the Gospel..." Am I really one of those people that is living in such a way to bring people to their knees and seeing a need for a Saviour? A need for the One and Only true God? Can I live this Christmas Season and beyond with a passion for my Lord and Saviour who came to this earth as a babe born in a manger and placed in a feeding trough, and wrapped up in some ragged cloth?
Wake up Christina (Follower of Christ) and get following Him!
