Chipmunk

So all of my life as far as I can remember I have had a few people giggle at me or comment that I look really cute when I am chewing something. My childhood best friend used to say that I looked like a chipmunk when I chewed, I didn't understand how or why that was. Do I chew different than everyone else? Today at work I didn't have a lunch break, but we are allowed to have snacks and such as we work, so I ate my granola bar that I brought. One of the full time girls was there while I was eating it and she just started to giggle and said that I look like a chipmunk as I was trying to eat it quick so that I could get back on the floor. She like turned to mush calling me cute. Not that I minded, but it was kind of strange that I was thought of as being cute by chewing on a granola bar. Anyway, just some thoughts put together today.

Post 50!

Disconnected

At times I feel so disconnected. I usually feel this way Sunday nights as the young adults gather together to chat and sometimes go out together. There is a song that I can relate to a lot by Casting Crowns called “If We Are The Body”

It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in
Trying to fade into the faces
The girls' teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

CHORUS
But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way
There is a way

A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat
And quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances tells him that his chances
Are better out on the road

Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the Body of Christ


I often feel like the traveller at church, but right now I feel like I am the one that is left out, ignored, the wallflower. I have been attending this church for 4.5 years and I love it there I truly do. I have a good relationship building between myself and several members; however most of them are over 60. No offence to them, as I love them dearly and wouldn’t trade those relationships any day for people who are my age, but at the same time it would be wonderful to connect more with people my age. I know that there are several who is in my age bracket in the church, but only...well truth be told only two or three of them will come and talk to me. I feel like they are standing in a circle at times and I am standing right on the outskirts of it and they are blind to the fact that I am there. They decide to hang out at times after church and I am very rarely included. The last time I was, was an invite from one of the couple of people that talk to me as she saw me walking to church and offered me a ride. That night was the first time I felt included since my first year there. I don't know why this is the case for me. Maybe because I am in Cambridge for school and they think she is only here for a short while. This is not true as this church is now my "home" I plan to live in Cambridge until the Lord sends me off at start another adventure with him to proclaim the good news to all people. Maybe I am eccentric, I don't know, I know I can have my weird awkward moments, but who doesn't. I'm not a pro at anything, I just want to know people. I want to know what God is doing in their life. I love investing in people and watching them grow in Christ. I want to hang out with these people, be a part of their odd lives as they are stretched and challenged in their faith. I don't want to be asked to hang out of obligation, or pressure or because they feel they should. I want to hang out with them, because they genuinely care about me and want to get to know me and to hang out with me. I am not on the in crowd, most of the young adults in my church were raised in a Christian and godly home, I did not. I gained most of my Christian knowledge while attending Heritage, but my heart, body and soul has be God's since I was 7 years old. Despite my different background I live for the same loving, graceful God that they do, yet I don't seem to be able to connect with them. Speaking from an electrician side...you cannot mix the wires together, but all the wires need to connect to complete the circuit. My wire is sticking out today. Even if you are reading this and knowing which church I go to, I do expect that you will not judge the church or the people inside it. God knows them, he knows the Pastor is very God honouring and he preaches it like it is. I commend him for that as this is not always what you find in a church. The people over all are great. I am not about to judge them, as I am just as guilty as they are...I am very shy but I will talk to people if they start up the convo and sometimes I will start (rarely), but especially if I know you well enough. If you are reading this and wanting to give me advice I will say that I really don't need any advice, this is not one of those advice needed things. This is more of a will you pray with me rant haha. Also if you go to my church I don't expect you to be telling any of the young people, but to pray instead, I know that I'm not the only one that has felt this way. Perhaps this has something to do with Heritage and that I did not go to NBBI or Emmanuel. I really don't know, but Heritage is where God led me, I will not dilberately go against God.

I really enjoy Sunflowers

It is hard for me not to enjoy sunflowers. They are nice and big and bright yellow. They brighten any dark spot and they just bring life. Kind of like the sun that tells us it is day, brings life to the flowers, trees and grass. The sun can give us a nice tan, which may not be the best thing for our skin, but we do sport a tan rather well. I mean come on look at black people and notice how goregous their smile is, it brightens up their whole face and our smiles are just that much more radiant with a nice golden brown tan. I could go further with this whole life part, I don't want to get all preachy or draw out an analogy that would be better left this time around. But here are some pictures that I took with some sunflowers I bought a couple of weeks ago.

"You are a beautiful young lady"

Early this week I was riding the bus to work and there was a young girl on the bus in a wheel chair, her mom I assume was sitting in front of her and facing her. Then there was a lady sitting on the other side of the bus that was talking with them I assume that she was a personal support worker. The girl communicated through moving her lips and clucking. Her mom was having a normal conversation with her so she knew her well. Oxygen tube attached to her throat. She was a very beautiful young girl at about the age of 10-13 (she may be older, but because of the health issues looks much younger). The oxygen was not on all the time, but she she needed air she would gag and tell her mom that she needs some. This happened several times while riding on the bus a few minutes. Mom finally told her to stop talking for a minute and she obeyed. Any time someone would get off of the bus and go to the back door she would cover her ears because the doors made a loud noise. I caught on to this so made the point to go to the front door and on the way to expressed to her that she is a beautiful young lady. Thinking how often will she be told that? I teared up on the bus after watching her gag a few times. It certaining was not easy seeing her suffer. After I got off the bus I really got choked up and had to use a tissue to dry up the tears and blow my nose. I truly believe that God knows how easy my heart breaks when I see his people suffering.

Not to mention that many people do not even get any notice or recognition of being alive when they are in a wheelchair as someone once pointed out to me. So I make it a point to at least smile at someone. The other day when I was returning home from work I noticed that there was an older man on the bus in a wheelchair. He got off at the Hespeler Terminal like I did and I had to wait for my bus so I went to Timmies and got a coffee and sat down after going to wash my hands. Then I saw that same man in the wheelchair in line to buy his coffee. Then I thought how in the world did he get in here as I thought about all the curbs and such that would prevent him from getting in. Hence when he was behind me even after I went to wash my hands. So curiousity got to me and I asked him how he got around to get in here. So he told me that he had to go all the way around, so it likely took him 3-5 minutes to get to Tim Hortons from the bus stop that takes me less than 15 seconds to get in the door. Here we are supposed to be making life easier for those in wheelchairs and yet they just learn to make do. Well I think this man was happy that I asked him, so much so that he asked if he could sit with me. I saw no harm in it and he told me that he was just at a meeting regarding the issues with this. We typically don't look at how much of a challenge it is for someone in a wheelchair until we look at life through their eyes. This man was a truck driver, but lost part of his leg and now he can't drive. So now he knows the difference in life obviously, as he lived on feet now he lives on his bottom. Here's my challenge for you...smile at that person in the wheelchair over there, invest in a short conversation with them. Hear their stories and fight with them or for them when it comes to making life that much more easier for them.